24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
> > >One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
> > >and, while questioning him about his life, she asked him if and how he
> > >had sex.
> > >
> > >"What sex?" he asked.
> > >
> > >Jane then explained to him what sex was.
> > >
> > >Tarzan replied, "Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
> > >
> > >Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong! I will show you
how
> to
> > >do it properly."
> > >
> > >She then took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her
> > >legs wide.
> > >
> > >"Here," she said, "you can put it in here."
> > >
> > >Tarzan removed his loin cloth, stepped closer and then gave Jane a kick
> > >in the crotch.
> > >
> > >Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the
> > >hell did you do that for?"
> > >
> > >"Tarzan not stupid - first check for bees."
